I was checking my blog, from your point of view and reread the quote at the top of the page. Do not dwell in the past….oh, yeah. Do not dream of the future….oh, yeah. Be present….oh, yeah. It’s silly the things we forget, isn’t it. It’s silly how often I have to remind myself to just be present.
So while I’ve felt this underlying thread of fear during the last month, I look around and I realize that actually in this moment I’m okay. The past few months have been scary for many reasons, the near future is scary because it’s an open road and that’s uncomfortable for me. But right now, as I sit on my messy bed with too much coffee eating my belly and my 7 year old playing Star Wars on the floor everything is okay. I don’t fear for my safety or my sanity in this moment. I’m not worried about what might happen in a few hours. I’m not even worried about what’s going to happen tomorrow. Thanks to good friends and family my immediate future is pretty secure.
Ask me about next month? I’m terrified. However, I can take a deep breath and come back to the moment. Right now I’m okay. The breath can only be in the present. Anytime I choose to practice focusing on the breath, I can only be right here, right now. Next month will come soon enough and if I can string together enough right here, right nows I can get to next month feeling okay. And when I get there that moment will be okay too.
So for right now, I’m okay.